Once upon a time...

Alright, alright - people gather round. Allow me to tell a tale of woman who didn't have a clue about what it was to bring a person into this world. There need be no dancing around the fact, its my story of how I got here and how naive I was before this whole thing started.

Back in the day, I was a fairly ambitious woman in my pre-motherhood days. Like a lot of the people I surrounded myself with I had a career and tended to it diligently. In fact, I had started a little home business based on my skills as a graphic designer, had a very strong client base and was even featured in a national magazine or two for my work. It was a labor of love, but quite honestly nothing in comparison to what lay ahead.

As all strong minded young women, I felt I could take on just about anything I put my mind to. There was no time to fret the details, just forge ahead and all will fall into place. Such might have been my attitude about getting pregnant and having a child. "It's time." I thought. Heck, if women all over the world have done it, why can't I? And thus, after some consulting with the dear husband, the decision was made.

The very first humbling experience came before things were even out of the gate, so to speak. Emotions ran high with the very first positive pregnancy test. However, the happy reality hardly set in before a very sad miscarriage took place and all came crashing down. It would be months before I could talk about it without welling up. But I can say the silver lining was that if anything it really solidified the fact that I wanted to become a mother, because I never expected to be so upset after such a loss.

Within a few short months, emotions ran high again with the second positive test. This time, however, there was way more apprehension and way more caution as the weeks ticked by. It would be several months before I could breathe easy knowing that the risk of miscarriage had passed. But with the second trimester statistics told me I was most likely okay and I made the decision to have a happy pregnancy rather than live in fear.

The following months went well. No real complications to speak of - sure, I had my bouts with sleepless nights and general aches and pains, but I considered myself lucky. Not so much as one incident of hormone-induced loss of lunch. Never found myself praying to the porcelain God. I'm not going to lie, the last month was a challenge as anticipation set in and my body was at capacity. Luck would have it, however, I would go late with my delivery.

Relief came in the form of an induction date. My dear doctor must have seen desperation in my eyes when I started to complain about a painful, wrenching back. I was a hobbling mess, but even still the little man didn't want to come out on his own. Enter Pitocin, the single most effective yet terrifying drug I've ever encountered. (to read the blow by blow of the birth click here.)

Within a matter of hours, we had our Henry and a new love. In some ways it feels futile to me to try and put into words what the experience of having Henry in our lives has been like, however I'm going to try to explain it, through the contents of this blog and if nothing else it might be just a stream of conscience that serves me as a written album of my daily thoughts and discoveries. Its entirely different road than I expected, its challenged me in ways I never thought possible - but I can say with all certainty that it is entirely worthwhile.