The Wonder Weeks

Okay people, know something. Know that I've read A LOT about parenting. While I can't say reading volumes has made me any better of a mother I will say I've learned how to sift the crap from the crap, so to speak. A lot of books about parenting say the same thing over and over again while the others make you feel inadequate if your child doesn't fit the mold. I learned pretty much from the moment I had Henry that all of these books need to be taken with a grain of salt. Having said all that please know it takes quite a bit for me to get excited about a parenting book.

In my frustration with Henry's sleep habits I've been talking with many of my mom friends, commiserating, venting, complaining. Right around the time Henry turned 4 months a friend mentioned the words "sleep regression" -- almost like a whisper, a murmur of some sinister thing that people just don't talk about. Then it came up with another friend, The Mean Mommy said, "You won't find it any book. Google it."

I'm starting to believe.

I hit Google so fast it would make your head spin and sure enough people are talking about these regressions and they are real! It was almost like a funny validation to find these posts and discussions online. Reading them felt like someone took me by the hand and said, "Don't you worry dear, there is a reason for all this but it will get better."

Sleep regressions refer to the deteriorating sleep patterns you can see just before or during a neurological growth spurt. The demand placed on a child just as he or she is going to acquire a new skill is enough to throw them completely off kilter and thus make them not find deep sleep. The book that I'm drooling over lately is this: The Wonder Weeks: How to Turn Your Baby's 8 Great Fussy Phases into Magical Leaps Forward

Tragically, its out of print and thus ridiculously expensive to purchase. If you are lucky enough to have a copy at your local library I highly suggest you go and get your hands on it and renew it repetitively. I, myself, was able to obtain a copy at my library but some other obsessed parent has requested it so sadly soon they are going to attempt to pry it off me. Jerks.

But the dork in me had taken this book, chapter by chapter and summarized it. I did it for my own benefit, but the humanitarian in me is willing to share. If you email me I will send you my notes, no strings attached (just be sure to put the words "Wonder Weeks" in the subject line of your email.) At the time of this posting I still have a few chapters to cover, but if you are patient I promise it will be better than 90% of the parenting "literature" out there.

It really is a miracle!

Alright this post is a shout out to my best friend and fellow mumma Lindsay (who is also my most diligent comment-maker.) She reminded me of the wonders of the Miracle Blanket. This thing is like the Rolls Royce of swaddlers....there is just no breaking out of it. I will admit, it does look a tiny bit like a straight jacket when you are putting your child in it, but man oh man does it lull them. So as two moms agree, if you are a big fan of wrapping your baby up (especially in the cold months of winter) the Miracle Blanket is the way to go.

Musak for babies

I have this funny vision of Henry someday standing in an elevator when all the sudden the instrumental version of "Knives Out" (or Knifes as Mr. Thom Yorke would have you believe) by RadioHead starts leaking out the elevator speakers. Henry instantly falls asleep. Alright maybe not instantly - who am I kidding?

But I will say the Rockabye series, very much including the RadioHead version has made naptime much more enjoyable for me and I dare say it DOES lull Henry to sleep. Besides, what better way to introduce him to very good music than through his subconscious?

We also have the Coldplay Rockabye Babyin heavy rotation and one of these days I'm going to pick up The Cure Rockabye Baby because come on, its The Cure. How cool is that?

My love is like a tight swaddle

Last night as I was nursing Henry I was thinking about the things we use every day, without fail. The SwaddleMe® is so much a part of our day-to-day living I equate them with diapers, you just need them on hand.

Often I'll hear of moms who say their child just didn't like to be swaddled. I'm willing to bet if I had my hands on that child I could get him/her to love it. After watching Dr. Karp's The Happiest Baby on the Block (DVD) (Another product recommendation, especially for those very first few weeks) I came to understand swaddles are supposed to be TIGHT. Tighter than you, as a new parent might feel comfortable with, but believe me it was tight in that old uterus of yours and the swaddle is like a return to the familiar for your babe.

So wrap him or her up like an overstuffed bean burrito and know it does a baby good.

Give a mom her eyes back

I have to say I'm quite proud of this recommendation. In all my online searching for lists of "what to bring to the hospital" no one ever recommended this idea - and its so, so simple. If you, or anyone you know is about to be admitted give them an eye pillow. I seriously had doctors and nurses in my room around the clock. It was exhausting. I wanted to say, "People, I just pushed a person out of me, have mercy!" But they were relentless, they kept coming back and back and back.

I do, in fact, remember thinking the eye pillow was the smartest thing I threw in my overflowing hospital bag because it allowed me to catch a cat nap in the middle of the day when the sun felt like it was burning the retinas of my sore, sleep deprived eyes.

And its the gift that keeps giving! I just used it again today. Henry was down for his afternoon nap and I found myself with time on my hands to curl up in bed myself. My eye pillow was the first thing I reached for and because of it I was able to steal a few precious moments of sleep, and any new mom would whole heartedly agree that is a lovely thing indeed.

all you need to know about nursing bras

Let's not dance around the fact the target audience for this blog is women, so if there are any men out there reading --well, you are going to have deal with the fact the following post will be of little use to you.

As women readers you know the importance of a good bra. Its right up there with world peace and environmental issues in my book. As I approached the end of my pregnancy I realized my needs in the bra department were about to change. Not only was my size going to be an issue (and as a woman who is already pretty well endowed, this was particularly troubling) but also the new challenge of nursing had to come into play.

I shopped around and tried a few different brands and styles but on a friend's recommendation I tried Bravado Original Nursing Bra and I have to say, this one is a winner. Before Henry I was an "underwire only" lady but was concerned to read that underwire can adversely affect your milk supply (any breastfeeding woman's worst nightmare.) This bra gives all the support I need without the wire and proves to be an easy contraption to operate with breastfeeding. I have two of them and plan to buy at least one more.

Another recommendation I have is for Medela sleep nursing bra. This bra was my best friend in those first few weeks home. It was pretty impossible for me to go to sleep without some sort of bra on because of the dire need of nursing pads (Let's just say sleeping with nursing pads in the beginning prevented the 40 year flood in my house.) The sleep bra gave me just barely the support I needed, and just believe me bra support 24/7 is a good thing AND it gave me a spot to tuck the all important nursing pads.

So all in all, I give these two bras two boobs up. My highest rating.

Mommy vanity in the form of Spanx

Many new moms I've spoken to complain of the dreaded "bowl full of jelly" that seems to come with your new post partum body. It seems that unless you are someone terribly annoying like Heidi Klum, your abdomen becomes this shapeless, muscleless mass that no matter how many hours of Pilates you do cannot be rectified. Well hello Spanx!

Spanx will be your secret friend for all those times you are inundated with visitors stopping by to see the baby (who by the way will always look at your abdomen to see how quickly you are losing the weight. Jerks.)

There isn't a lot of science behind it, they are kind of like control top pantyhose, without the pantyhose. They keep you pulled in and looking like some shade of your former self, without the terribly depressing dieting and such (because after 9 months of eating whatever you wanted - who really wants to diet?)

Pacifier: friend or foe?

Shortly after deciding Henry was capable of breastfeeding successfully we introduced the pacifier in a moment of weakness. I say "moment of weakness" because while surely millions of parents use pacifiers, I think all will agree it comes at a price.

Our price might be that now I'm worried we have an unhealthy addiction to it. He uses it CONSTANTLY. We have them littered all over our house and its the first thing I reach for when he fusses. I will admit they work well but I dread the day, months/years from now, when I have to take them away.

Buck teeth - here we come.

Henry's pacifier of choice: Gerber Nuks